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09/25/2004: "The Blogging World"

Reading some of my usual bloggers, Ive come to think about why I read blogs. I have for a very long time, but I cant remember what the first blog I ever read was. One of the firsts I know was Heathers'. But it wasnt the first. I now have about 15 that I visit on a daily basis. Some of the people only post 3 times a week, while some post 3 times a day. The links on the left are some of them, but not all of them. Over time, Ive read blogs for a year, and would just stop reading them. Maybe they got to...personal? Im not sure.

One case was a bisexual teenager. Yes, very paticular fellow. He also had cancer. He was also rich. He also divorced his parents or something like that. I liked his blog for about a year or so, but then one post really just was to indepth personally for me. I stopped reading, curiousity got my tongue in the end.

Some of the other bloggers, I've devoloped a close friendly relationship. I have become good friends with Jonah. Over a long period of time, like...around a year and a half I think. Hes the closest blogger Ive gotten to I think. (Sounds like im stalking him, doesnt it?) Hes got enough of those anyway ;)

I have read SJ since before she found out she was pregnant. I was a fan of her friend Allison, which recently closed her site. I havent a clue where it went. She closed her previous site before Javamama too. Odd.

But I think I know *why* I read blogs. I think its because Im not little miss social in life. I like to know about people. Not just their name and what they look like. Looks are not important to me. I like knowing how other people deal with life. What other peoples lives are. What made them want to put their life online, even if its just peices of life. You know?

As I read a blog today, the man who wrote it was depressed. I can relate to that. In some way, not the way he does. I dont take medication for it or anything, but it makes me look and think 'hey, you know when you feel down, it could be worse, be happy that you arnt so sad.' It may sound like a bad thing, but some blogs honestly make me feel better. I realize that sometimes in a sticky situation, it could be worse. I can look at a blog with someone who is anonymous, who has epilepsy and has 4 seizures a day, and think to myself 'yes, I have epilespy, but Im luckly, it could be worse.' Does this sound selfish?

I just like knowing about people. Some blogs I cant read. One of the usual blogs I read, linked to a blog of a woman who has had multipal miscarriages and cant carry a child. I cant relate to that, I hope I never have to. I couldnt read the blog. I cant relate, I cant put it into my eyes. I cant understand her pain. I can feel sorry for her, but I dont need to do that, Im sure she gets enough as it is. Her life is intresting, but I cant read that.

And btw, I didnt read about the bi boy because I was bi myself, I read him because I was curious about his cancer originally. And as for Meredith, I like reading her blog, queer and all. I love sign language, she has that in her blog. I find her sexuality intresting, even if she doesnt discuss it. I just like knowing how people live the way they do.

Goodness, I am such a freak for reading blogs for years. As for blogging myself. I keep mine now as a journal. Everything I put online, I would let everyone including my parents read. Its notes for me, to help me remember. I have an old blog from eons ago, about 2 and a half years old. (Yes, thats eons to me) And it just helps me remember. Its one of those times when you say 'You know, I was never so childish! I never wrote in CAPS, never used net speak...' and yet I can look on those entries, and see that I definitally did. I can *hardly* stand to read my own blog back then. Ive grown up alot in the past few years. And though my side bar says 'near twenties' its actually 17. But hey, why not add a level of mystery?

On a side note, there is only one thing I wish I could have kept from the online world that I dont have now. The staffroom log from October, 2001. It has the first time Logan ever saw me in it. And trust me, it was hiliarous, but I was too busy blushing ;)

Back to blogging. I know only two people read this, and thats fine. I dont write it for them, because I talk to both of them on almost a daily basis and they know my life anyway. Im almost done with my 100 things, im going to post it.